Which path am I on?

 According to Vedanta, there are four paths or yogas back to the unity:

1. Bhakti Yoga: The path of love and devotion
2. Jnana Yoga: The path of science and the intellect
3. Karma Yoga: The path of action and selfless service
4. Raja Yoga: The path of meditation and all its related disciplines

The Sanskrit term for the discipline of spiritual practice is sadhana. Sadhana is the spiritual routine that takes your practice from an isolated exercise to a way of life. You are dedicated travelers on the path, familiar with its twists and turns, up and downs. As your practice deepens, you become increasingly more adept and more knowledgeable, not only of the tradition or practice you follow but also of yourself.

Information: https://chopra.com/articles/the-5-stages-of-spiritual-awakening

Three Thoughts For Life Coaching

 Core Coaching Thoughts:

1) I am not enough.
2) It's not available to me.
3) I'm different so I can't connect.

Where do these beliefs come from? 

These are foundational to uncovering client solutions.

"I am making this familiar. I will make this familiar."

Finding Purpose In Life

As someone who has spent countless hours, days, weeks, months, years obsessing over this topic I can tell you all that our purpose in life is to live it to the fullest. Don't spend so much time looking for a purpose; just enjoy the small things. Follow what you enjoy and what is meaningful to you but you don't need to think so deeply about it. 

If you don't overthink things you'll naturally be led to things that make you happy. Don't put your life on hold while searching. I also think many people who are very successful in life are unhappy because their lives lack balance. Balance is extremely important in life. 

My goal now is to essentially let this question go. "Why am I here?" is a dead end. "What can I do?" is a better question, or, "How can I help?" 

As placeholder, this is one person's guide to finding purpose:

Who are you?
What do you do?
Who do you do it for?
What do those people want and need?
How do they change as a result?

The Reverse Gap

This is a coaching exercise to provide real evidence of where we've come from and how far we've come. 

Here are mine: 

1) I overcame a physically, emotionally and sexually abusive childhood. It was full of fear, uncertainty, pain, dread and suicidal ideation. 

I made it out. I'm 45 now. I conquered it. 

2) I am a blind man who has successfully navigated a sited word. I never saw a blackboard in school. I got headaches while reading books. I road my bike through dangerous traffic to work normal jobs with no accommodations. I never let my handicap stand in my way. 

3) I competed in one of the most brutal sports in the world (strongman) for 16 years. I trained, scheduled, and outlasted many simply due to hard work. I have a shelf full of trophies to show for it. I'm physically stronger than anyone I know. 

4) I got a Bachelor's degree in one of the hardest fields--history. I wrote dozens of excellent papers, read hundreds of books and graduated with a 3.8 GPA. I did this with no help and not being able to see the board. 

I'll type more later....

 

The Root Of All Fear / Rejection

I am not enough.

I don't have enough.

That is the root of all fear.

Looking at these with any sort of rational fact-checking almost always destroys their power. 

Even rejection is not real. It's just our fear telling us we aren't good enough without knowing all of the facts. Maybe your email ended up in somebody's spam folder. Maybe the person you contacted is out sick. Try and try again. 

 When rejection upsets you, you are living in the past. You're reliving past experiences. It's not happening anymore and it can't hurt you. 

Will you even remember this in the future?  Also, what rejections are you glad to have happened to you? Stuff that turned out better because of it? 

Several years ago, I accepted a government job because I thought I wanted security. It was the most menial mindless thing I've ever experienced. Myself and my boss agreed after 90 days that it simply wasn't working out, and I've never looked back. I can't thrive in an environment where there is no room for growth or creativity. 

This valuable lesson has helped me persist and make more money than ever. Granted, I am looking toward other more meaningful endeavors, but those will come once my mind is at peace. Every day, I am getting a little closer.

Rejection isn't personal. It's just somebody's opinion.

Fundamentals

 There are questions I will answer over time: 

• Who are you?
• Who do you want to be?
• Why do you want to be that person?
• Where are you going in life?
• What are your needs?
• What are your desires?
• What are your goals?

Awareness, Acceptance, Action: creating what you want

These are the thoughts that work. 

Awareness: being aware of your thoughts helps direct you. 

If you are feeling bad, you're thinking in lack. Good, you're thinking in abundance. 

Acceptance: you are in control of your thoughts. You need to take responsibility for them. Being a victim is coming from a place of lack. Being in control is coming from a place of abundance.

Action: move your thoughts. Start by being grateful. This will help you move from lack to abundance. 

In any given situation, if you are uncomfortable, feel the feeling and let it go, and then direct your mind toward abundance and being grateful. This will return you to free flow and out of lack / analytical thinking. 

You are in control of your thoughts, actions and life.  

*****************

Right now, I'm struggling with job satisfaction and fear of money. I am aware. I also accept that I created these circumstances. 

Action steps: I've found that being grateful for everything I have and realizing how far I've come helps steer me back into positive thought. 

I used to live in a halfway house. Now I have a wonderful woman, money in the bank, a house, and pets I love. 

Why do I want something different professionally? Because I want to help more people, be independent, and do something more meaningful.

Today's Positive Affirmation: I'm looking forward to....

 "I can't wait" makes me feel anxious. Instead, I'm replacing it with "I'm looking forward to...."

It immediately makes me feel better. 

I'm looking forward to being more mindful.

I'm looking forward to financial independence.

I'm looking forward to retirement.

I'm looking forward to spending time with my wonderful wife.

I'm looking forward to playing with my dogs.

I'm looking forward to life!

 My lovely and patient wife sent me a series of videos about changing language to the positive. She had sent this to me previously, but at that time I brushed it off. 

Now, I can see how incredibly powerful it is. It makes me feel great.

The gist of it is to eliminate words like "no," "can't," "don't," etc. 

"I don't want to do this" turns into "I want to do something else." 

"I want to be fit" is a far more empowering than "I don't want to get fat" and it places the emphasis on the positive. 

Forget about what you don't want; what do you want? Say that out loud. 

Honestly, it makes me feel better. That's why I'm going to stick with it. 

The person's name is Christy Whitman if you want to check it out: https://www.christywhitman.com/watch-your-words/

2023 has presented a huge opportunity to improve my life simply by changing the way I think. I am excited to see how things roll out considering the progress I've had in just a couple of months.

My journey away from intrusive thoughts and into positivity

 I have a blog, apparently. I didn't realize it. I haven't posted in 10 years (literally) and boy... things have changed. 

In April 2023, I got a big client at work. I'm an accountant, but a specific type of accountant who uses a specific type of software. 

Well, this new client was far outside of that industry and with a completely new software package. I immediately began to panic and then fell into some of the darkest depression I've ever had. 

I've had suicidal ideation for as long as I can remember--literally back to my childhood. I am blind and my parents were extremely abusive. I've dealt with bullying and trauma for as long as I can remember and I carried all of this into my adult years. 

I have fallen in and out of depression for decades, but this time was different. I had actually started formulated a plan to take my own life. Why bother continuing if my existence was going to encompass mental torment for another 30-40 years? 

I have a family I love--a wonderful wife, sister, and great pets. I think they have ultimately kept me going for years. Ending my life would put a tremendous amount of pain on them all, so I have simply suffered instead. Better I take the torment than pass it onto them. 

I also had the realization that I have watched every TedX talk on YouTube that involves suicide. When you view a video, the thumbnail presents with a red line. I was scrolling down in April and there were dozens of red lines staring me in the face. 

"This is it," I thought. I was finally going to do it. But... then I stumbled onto a video that jarred me.

https://youtu.be/EgU3i-g8ZRY

Then another: "How can you say you're exhausted with depression and anxiety? You're not actually doing anything." 

That is true; I wasn't. However, I wasn't aware that there was anything I could do outside of antidepressants, therapy and suffering. I was born depressed, right? And anxious? It's my parents' fault.

I learned that anxiety and depression are habits--thinking patterns. Perhaps some of it is environmental or genetic, but I like the message that I can be in control. I don't want to be a victim. 

That's where it started, but that won't be where it ends. 

I'm not a journaling type of person, but I've seen this recommendation from many people who I greatly admire and respect. I want to chronicle from April 2023 where I was planning to die to whenever. I want to see where this goes. 

It's been a few months now and I am doing better. I am long way away from being "recovered" whatever that means, but I have a path in front of me. I can take my power back. I can live a good life. 

I will look back on this one day and be happy to have taken the difficult journey to mindfulness. I guarantee it.